Skip to main content

The Skin You're In... Loving You First


Seeking love or companionship, when you haven't learned to love yourself, conquered your own insecurities and embraced your flaws is a dangerous position to put yourself in....

I have this conversation with both women and men quite frequently, actually. The conversation of understanding your decision-making and the power of emotions, self-concept and self-image.

If you've ever read any of my other entries, then you know that I'm all about being transparent and honest with yourself. So, let's be honest. Are you someone who feels that you can't be single? Do you feel like you HAVE to have a man or woman in your life, in order to be happy? Have you made decisions to be with someone, because of those thoughts?.... How did that work out?...

The first step is to love you, who you are and the skin that you are in. I'm sure you've heard people say "How can you expect someone to love you, if you don't love yourself?" While this is true, it is deeper than just saying that you love yourself. You have to take it a step further and actually be "in love" with yourself. Be able to encourage and uplift yourself, regardless of relationship status:

  • I love who I am
  • I make myself happy
  • I am beautiful/handsome to me
  • I believe in myself            
  • I am a good person
  • I have a great personality....
As I end this entry, I will give my usual disclosure....
From experience, I know the consequences of making decisions that were fueled by my own insecurities (ie, low self-esteem, low self-image, low confidence). Not until surviving a violent domestic relationship and being released from one emotionally damaging relationship after another was I able to recognize the impact of my own necessity for strength....

While I still continue to evolve and grow in strength, I am more self-aware, recognize not making decisions out of loneliness or desperation, and I share with others, so that they too can be strengthened...

As always, I hope and pray that this entry has been encouraging, motivational, and a source of strength.  Forever I persevere, your passionately driven ChristalNicole.


Popular posts from this blog

Take Care of Yourself: You Matter Too...

I know that it's been awhile, since my last post. My apologies to my awesome readers. I'd like to say that I've been taking some much needed R&R, but unfortunately, it's been the total opposite. I've been super busy! Hence, this blog entry, reminder to not only you but also to MYself... Work is a grand thing that allows us to pay the bills. "Hustle-mode" is a common phrase, used frequently as motivational and admirable. Being a parent or caretaker of some sort can be a very demanding responsibility... While there is nothing wrong with either of these states of being, none should saturate your life so intensely that you neglect your health and overall physical/mental well-being. Am I asking you to give up your job, your hustle and/or your positions of responsibility? Never! I'm all about that "Perseverant Life", but I guarantee that you and those you love will appreciate a less stressed/healthier you... So, let's ta

Say "No" and Mean it. No More Back and Forth!

NOTE TO SELF: My 20 year old son has a strength that I am still trying to find at almost 42... When he says NO, he means NO. When he cuts someone off, that person is CUT OFF. When he is Done, he is DONE... At times, his actions seemed callous to me, because I am that person that doesn't want to hurt others' feelings. I've realized, however, the importance of saying "No" , and meaning it.  I've also recognized the reduction of stress (less frustration, feelings of resentment, negative energy in general) that I could have, if I were to decrease " people-pleaser actions". I've linked a great article about People-Pleaser signs, helpful tips on how to stop this type of behavior, and how it affects you.  If you're not sure that you're a people-pleaser, then here are a few simple questions to ask yourself, when self-evaluating: 1. Do you have a low opinion of yourself? Sometimes our opinion of ourselves is not high enough to be enough. Seeking

How can I make you smile today?

How can I make you smile today Everyday, I want to hear you say Can I be the one that dries your tears The one who calms your fears Tell me, will you let me Love you, ever so gently Unrelenting, contently With a newness so surreal A reality causing your heart to heal... - ChristalNicole I have a tendency to write poetry in a romantic/passionate tone. However, this little short poem, though it is applicable romantically, is a poem about self love (now read it again).  Now, how can I make YOU smile? Have I already accomplished my goal? Has it ever occurred to you, the fulfilling nature of just bringing a little joy to another person's day? Seriously, random acts of kindness and care are literally healthy for you. Think about it. It feels so great, when someone thinks about you, cares about you and shows you love. It also feels rejuvenating and liberating to get a good laugh out of your belly, am I right? Well, now think about what it feels