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Showing posts with the label emotional health

It's Ok to Say "Yes" to You...

Everyday, you go to work, whether it's at home or a long commute. You take care of your business. You take care of your family, from your parents, siblings, children and/or grandchildren. Everyone seems to get your attention, except you... Your body aches, from hours of working, tension from stress, and you can't think of the last time you had a peaceful night of rest. Your mind is constantly filled with a list of tasks, none of which include a moment for you. You're tired, but someone else has asked you to assist with a project, and/or you need to meal prep for the week for your family. You only go to the doctor, when you're making an appointment for someone else, once you've finished being both nurse and doctor to your loved ones. STOP!!! You can't go on like this! It's time to take care of yourself too. Why? Well, let's see: Decrease stress, which will also lead to, A healthier life/lifestyle (physical and mental) A sense of life fulfillment, includin...

Chilled to the Bone, but not the Heart...

The cold weather is officially here, and I find myself ready to bundle up and cuddle... Funny thing is that I'm thankful for the ability and desire to be a loving person. Yes, I said "thankful", and yes, I said "ability". Truth be told, there was a time that I wasn't sure that I wanted to be that "loving" person. I didn't want to keep having my love taken for granted or used against me as a tool of manipulation. I didn't want to be hurt again (because that seemed to be all that my loving character brought), by anyone in any relationship, no matter what the dynamic of that relationship may be. I thought that maybe if I could just be a cold-hearted person, and keep my affections exclusively for my children and immediate family, then I could avoid being hurt by others... Ever been there? Still there? Well, let's walk together through why it isn't healthy for you to allow your heart to freeze over: Stifling emotions can actually cause y...

Uncovering Beauty Unseen...

What do you see? Do you notice the dark clouds first or the light coming from behind the clouds?  There are times in our lives that all seems to be dark. Everything seems to be going the wrong way, and there seems to be little hope in sight. These are the moments that we have to remain strong and focus on the light at the end of tunnel. No matter how low you may be or how dark the situation may seem, you have to remember that just like the rain clouds, it will pass away.  In life, beauty presents itself in the smallest ways, and if we are not focused on living and striving for elevation, evolution and positive growth in ourselves and our lives, then we can miss it... Going through life with a negative self-esteem and self-image, I used to only be focused on my flaws. I could never see my own positive characteristics and refused to believe compliments of beauty, until I began to take my own advice of using positive self-talk, positive reframing and ...

The Skin You're In... Loving You First

              Seeking love or companionship, when you haven't learned to love yourself, conquered your own insecurities and embraced your flaws is a dangerous position to put yourself in.... I have this conversation with both women and men quite frequently, actually. The conversation of understanding your decision-making and the power of emotions, self-concept and self-image. If you've ever read any of my other entries, then you know that I'm all about being transparent and honest with yourself. So, let's be honest. Are you someone who feels that you can't be single? Do you feel like you HAVE to have a man or woman in your life, in order to be happy? Have you made decisions to be with someone, because of those thoughts?.... How did that work out?... The first step is to love you, who you are and the skin that you are in. I'm sure you've heard people say "How can you expect someone to love you, if you don't love yourself?"...

Don't Be Afraid to Let Go...

Whether it's a person, situation or emotional attachment to something, many of us have a difficult time with letting things go and moving on with our lives... Yes, I'm talking about myself as well. I'm guilty (first step is to admit it, right?), or at least, I have been:  If a person stopped communicating or decided to leave my life, I would try to figure out why and inwardly be broken, even if I didn't show it.... If I went through something traumatic, then I would allow it to effect my future (sound familiar?)...   But then there was this thing called self-evaluation and this other thing called an epiphany! Suddenly, after all the years of doing something so unhealthy, I became (and continue to become) this person that no longer wanted to allow people or circumstances to determine my life, health or overall emotional state... But Christal, I've tried to let go, and I just can't seem to...  Well, Ok dahling, this is why I am writing...

Your Most Important Audience is You...

"I want to be a great role model for my daughter/son." "I want people to see the good in me." "I just want to make my parents proud."..................... All wonderful statements and positive goals to reach for. However, I want to put a little bug in your ear that may just also bring you a moment (hopefully a lifetime) of enlightenment by asking you this question: "What do you SEE, when you look into the mirror?" A simple enough question, if you refuse to come with me to this deep place that I'm attempting to guide you to... Allow me to take your virtual hand and guide you a moment into self-exploration: Who is this woman/man that you see staring back at you? Do you make yourself proud? Are you happy with the morals/ideals/decisions that you express/make? Do YOU see the good in you? Are there things that you are ashamed of and refuse to forgive yourself for? Do you accept who you are completely? It's one th...

Put Yourself In Time Out...

There's just something about koi ponds that makes me feel relaxed and have a sense of peace. Places such as this provide me with a nice little break from stressors and quiet time to calm the storm that is incessantly present in my brain... A Time Out According to Wikipedia, "Time-out is a form of behavioral modification that involves temporarily separating a person from an environment where unacceptable behavior has occurred." As adults, we get moody (ie, grumpy, snippy, attitudinal...), stressed, overwhelmed, etc. These are behaviors that are generally Un-Acceptable for/to the persons around you, especially the ones closest to you. So, today, I am going to play the virtual Mother and "sentence" you to a Time Out, Mister/Ma'am... For children, this means removing them from a pleasurable activity or environment, to give them time to "reflect" on what they have done to cause the consequence. For adults, this means to remove you from the en...

Let Me Talk...

https://youtu.be/S73bIrfb994 Let me talk. Let me speak. Let me say what's on my mind... So many times, we hold things in for years and it eats away at our very souls, affecting every part of our lives ... I can personally say that I'm aware that my past has not only affected my self image but every relationship that I have attempted to form... Speak. Let it out... Let go of the negativity that seeks to keep you bound. Be free... Your passionately driven ChristalNicole ...

Heart Be Unbroken...

Let's talk a little about love today... Or, rather, the loss of love... So often I find myself in conversations and/or counseling someone who is struggling with the emotional distress following the dissolution of an intimate relationship. It is understood that a person can feel deep loss, when a friendship is severed, but this particular blog entry will be focused specifically on the ending of a more intimate relationship such as marriage or a boyfriend/girlfriend-type relationship/situation.... You know, the type that feels like the literal severance of the heart from the body... That loss... A broken heart can sometimes feel like you're dying on the inside, an endless feeling of emptiness and a pit in the bottom of your soul (yeah, I might be familiar). Truth is, you really could actually be suffering from takotsubo cariomyopathy , also known as the broken heart syndrome . Yes, I'm totally serious. A characteristic of this condition is chest pain and shortness of b...