Passionately Driven... A Lifestyle and Wellness Blog

NOTE TO SELF: My 20 year old son has a strength that I am still trying to find at almost 42... When he says NO, he means NO. When he cuts someone off, that person is CUT OFF. When he is Done, he is DONE... At times, his actions seemed callous to me, because I am that person that doesn't want to hurt others' feelings. I've realized, however, the importance of saying "No" , and meaning it.  I've also recognized the reduction of stress (less frustration, feelings of resentment, negative energy in general) that I could have, if I were to decrease " people-pleaser actions". I've linked a great article about People-Pleaser signs, helpful tips on how to stop this type of behavior, and how it affects you.  If you're not sure that you're a people-pleaser, then here are a few simple questions to ask yourself, when self-evaluating: 1. Do you have a low opinion of yourself? Sometimes our opinion of ourselves is not high enough to be enough. Seeking...

When will someone accept me for me?... Said the girl who couldn't accept herself... So often we put the pressure on others to give us validation or to "accept us", when all along the "problem" isn't with others but from within our own person. I know that some won't even read this entry in its entirety, because they don't think that they have an issue with self-acceptance . Well, let me ask you a few questions (not a complete assessment, buuuut):  How many times have you criticized yourself about the smallest thing, and didn't feel good about yourself until someone else came along and gave you positive feedback about the same thing you put yourself down for? How often do you find fault in the way that you look, and no matter what others say, you still see that fault? How easily do you change your behavior, in order to "fit in" with others around you, because you deem it necessary? Truth is...  You'll never be good e...

Whether it's a person, situation or emotional attachment to something, many of us have a difficult time with letting things go and moving on with our lives... Yes, I'm talking about myself as well. I'm guilty (first step is to admit it, right?), or at least, I have been:  If a person stopped communicating or decided to leave my life, I would try to figure out why and inwardly be broken, even if I didn't show it.... If I went through something traumatic, then I would allow it to effect my future (sound familiar?)...   But then there was this thing called self-evaluation and this other thing called an epiphany! Suddenly, after all the years of doing something so unhealthy, I became (and continue to become) this person that no longer wanted to allow people or circumstances to determine my life, health or overall emotional state... But Christal, I've tried to let go, and I just can't seem to...  Well, Ok dahling, this is why I am writing...

"I want to be a great role model for my daughter/son." "I want people to see the good in me." "I just want to make my parents proud."..................... All wonderful statements and positive goals to reach for. However, I want to put a little bug in your ear that may just also bring you a moment (hopefully a lifetime) of enlightenment by asking you this question: "What do you SEE, when you look into the mirror?" A simple enough question, if you refuse to come with me to this deep place that I'm attempting to guide you to... Allow me to take your virtual hand and guide you a moment into self-exploration: Who is this woman/man that you see staring back at you? Do you make yourself proud? Are you happy with the morals/ideals/decisions that you express/make? Do YOU see the good in you? Are there things that you are ashamed of and refuse to forgive yourself for? Do you accept who you are completely? It's one th...

There's just something about koi ponds that makes me feel relaxed and have a sense of peace. Places such as this provide me with a nice little break from stressors and quiet time to calm the storm that is incessantly present in my brain... A Time Out According to Wikipedia, "Time-out is a form of behavioral modification that involves temporarily separating a person from an environment where unacceptable behavior has occurred." As adults, we get moody (ie, grumpy, snippy, attitudinal...), stressed, overwhelmed, etc. These are behaviors that are generally Un-Acceptable for/to the persons around you, especially the ones closest to you. So, today, I am going to play the virtual Mother and "sentence" you to a Time Out, Mister/Ma'am... For children, this means removing them from a pleasurable activity or environment, to give them time to "reflect" on what they have done to cause the consequence. For adults, this means to remove you from the en...

The dictionary defines a reflection as "the throwing back by a body or surface of light, heat, or sound without absorbing it...." or a "serious thought or consideration"...... I have a tendency to be a "deep" thinker (hard to believe, I know) and sometimes even over-analytical (another shocker, right?). Anyway, while conversing with someone earlier this week, we began to discuss my goals and aspirations for my image consulting business. I elaborated on the details of what a complete "image" is. By definition (Ms. Literal here), an image is "a representation of the external form of a person or thing..." I believe that the image is formed not only by what we dress the external in but what exudes from the inside. While discussing this, I began to "reflect" on my purpose and how my actions are not just a reflection of me but also the principles, morals and standards which I claim to represent. Ever wondered ...

Wow, I can't believe that it's been 3 years, since my last post... I've had a whirlwind of things to happen in my life, and I'm finally coming to a place of self-discovery and understanding. It has been, during this time, that I have become more self-evaluative and a major revelation has occurred... It's okay to cry! Yes, as simple as it may sound, I too had difficulty with this human expression of emotion. Although I am still not comfortable with crying in front of other people, I have learned a few wonderful things personally about crying: 1. It is therapeutic 2. It is liberating 3. It relieves stress 4. It clears your mind 5. It's natural... and doesn't make you any less of a "strong" individual....... If you don't believe me, then take a look at a little research that has been done about crying. It could definitely blow your mind! From AgingCare.com- Go Ahead, Have a Good Cry: 5 Reasons It's Good for You https://w...