Passionately Driven... A Lifestyle and Wellness Blog

"... may break my bones... but Words will never hurt me..." ... but we knew even then as children that Words can/do, indeed hurt... When was the last time you stood in your shower until your fingers were wrinkled, or in some other quiet place away from others, and cried or beat yourself up for allowing the cruel, stupid, negative opinions of others affect you? It's okay to admit it. I'll go first. The last time I did it was a few days ago.  There is no weakness in recognizing an error of judgment . It's called self-evaluation and growth. We cannot be or do better without it. How do we grow from it? We take steps to distance/eliminate the negativity. Again, you say "how Christal?" Do I walk away and never speak to that person again? Sometimes, it's necessary. You have to determine how important the relationship/connection is to you (ie. Is this person an incessant negative factor in your life? Is this person a close friend/family member?) Sometimes,...

NOTE TO SELF: My 20 year old son has a strength that I am still trying to find at almost 42... When he says NO, he means NO. When he cuts someone off, that person is CUT OFF. When he is Done, he is DONE... At times, his actions seemed callous to me, because I am that person that doesn't want to hurt others' feelings. I've realized, however, the importance of saying "No" , and meaning it.  I've also recognized the reduction of stress (less frustration, feelings of resentment, negative energy in general) that I could have, if I were to decrease " people-pleaser actions". I've linked a great article about People-Pleaser signs, helpful tips on how to stop this type of behavior, and how it affects you.  If you're not sure that you're a people-pleaser, then here are a few simple questions to ask yourself, when self-evaluating: 1. Do you have a low opinion of yourself? Sometimes our opinion of ourselves is not high enough to be enough. Seeking...

Everyday, you go to work, whether it's at home or a long commute. You take care of your business. You take care of your family, from your parents, siblings, children and/or grandchildren. Everyone seems to get your attention, except you... Your body aches, from hours of working, tension from stress, and you can't think of the last time you had a peaceful night of rest. Your mind is constantly filled with a list of tasks, none of which include a moment for you. You're tired, but someone else has asked you to assist with a project, and/or you need to meal prep for the week for your family. You only go to the doctor, when you're making an appointment for someone else, once you've finished being both nurse and doctor to your loved ones. STOP!!! You can't go on like this! It's time to take care of yourself too. Why? Well, let's see: Decrease stress, which will also lead to, A healthier life/lifestyle (physical and mental) A sense of life fulfillment, includin...

The cold weather is officially here, and I find myself ready to bundle up and cuddle... Funny thing is that I'm thankful for the ability and desire to be a loving person. Yes, I said "thankful", and yes, I said "ability". Truth be told, there was a time that I wasn't sure that I wanted to be that "loving" person. I didn't want to keep having my love taken for granted or used against me as a tool of manipulation. I didn't want to be hurt again (because that seemed to be all that my loving character brought), by anyone in any relationship, no matter what the dynamic of that relationship may be. I thought that maybe if I could just be a cold-hearted person, and keep my affections exclusively for my children and immediate family, then I could avoid being hurt by others... Ever been there? Still there? Well, let's walk together through why it isn't healthy for you to allow your heart to freeze over: Stifling emotions can actually cause y...

She's wild and crazy, some may say... How can she allow herself to be out in public like that, others may think... Once upon a time, I would care so much about what people say or think that I would have difficulty with just being myself. I would change my hair, the way that I dressed or even the way that I acted, just to please others. I was bound. I was bound by the fear of not pleasing others or meeting their standards. Is this you? What binds you? Self-doubt/self-pity? Inability to let go of the past? Fear of not pleasing others? Insecurities?... It's time to let it go. Be liberated! You will never be able to grow and evolve into your true self, as long as you are focusing on your flaws versus your strengths, your past rather than your present and future, and/or whether or not your life (keyword: YOUR) is lining up to be what others want it to be. Having a "people-pleaser" mindset will always set you on a path of illogical thinking and an ...

...And I mean exactly that... Forever... No, this is not a rant. It is not a blog entry to put anyone down or vent about life, love or the lack thereof. I hope and pray that this entry is encouraging to all who read it and that you share with others for encouragement as well. Often times, when we have experienced love and heartbreak, everyone seems to have ALL of the advice for us: Don't give up Don't be so hard on yourself (ie, you can't think like that, don't say that, there's nothing wrong with you...) Don't be so hard on future prospects Your expectations are too high You overthink things too much (I get That one a whoooole lot, lol)......... Truth is, no one knows your heart, your pain and/or your desires more than you do. "Heartbroken" is subjective. For me, I have honestly just felt Broken. For you, it may not be so deep, but whatever your level of "brokenness", be strong enough to evaluate your needs for yourself ...

              Seeking love or companionship, when you haven't learned to love yourself, conquered your own insecurities and embraced your flaws is a dangerous position to put yourself in.... I have this conversation with both women and men quite frequently, actually. The conversation of understanding your decision-making and the power of emotions, self-concept and self-image. If you've ever read any of my other entries, then you know that I'm all about being transparent and honest with yourself. So, let's be honest. Are you someone who feels that you can't be single? Do you feel like you HAVE to have a man or woman in your life, in order to be happy? Have you made decisions to be with someone, because of those thoughts?.... How did that work out?... The first step is to love you, who you are and the skin that you are in. I'm sure you've heard people say "How can you expect someone to love you, if you don't love yourself?"...

Whether it's a person, situation or emotional attachment to something, many of us have a difficult time with letting things go and moving on with our lives... Yes, I'm talking about myself as well. I'm guilty (first step is to admit it, right?), or at least, I have been:  If a person stopped communicating or decided to leave my life, I would try to figure out why and inwardly be broken, even if I didn't show it.... If I went through something traumatic, then I would allow it to effect my future (sound familiar?)...   But then there was this thing called self-evaluation and this other thing called an epiphany! Suddenly, after all the years of doing something so unhealthy, I became (and continue to become) this person that no longer wanted to allow people or circumstances to determine my life, health or overall emotional state... But Christal, I've tried to let go, and I just can't seem to...  Well, Ok dahling, this is why I am writing...

"I want to be a great role model for my daughter/son." "I want people to see the good in me." "I just want to make my parents proud."..................... All wonderful statements and positive goals to reach for. However, I want to put a little bug in your ear that may just also bring you a moment (hopefully a lifetime) of enlightenment by asking you this question: "What do you SEE, when you look into the mirror?" A simple enough question, if you refuse to come with me to this deep place that I'm attempting to guide you to... Allow me to take your virtual hand and guide you a moment into self-exploration: Who is this woman/man that you see staring back at you? Do you make yourself proud? Are you happy with the morals/ideals/decisions that you express/make? Do YOU see the good in you? Are there things that you are ashamed of and refuse to forgive yourself for? Do you accept who you are completely? It's one th...

There's just something about koi ponds that makes me feel relaxed and have a sense of peace. Places such as this provide me with a nice little break from stressors and quiet time to calm the storm that is incessantly present in my brain... A Time Out According to Wikipedia, "Time-out is a form of behavioral modification that involves temporarily separating a person from an environment where unacceptable behavior has occurred." As adults, we get moody (ie, grumpy, snippy, attitudinal...), stressed, overwhelmed, etc. These are behaviors that are generally Un-Acceptable for/to the persons around you, especially the ones closest to you. So, today, I am going to play the virtual Mother and "sentence" you to a Time Out, Mister/Ma'am... For children, this means removing them from a pleasurable activity or environment, to give them time to "reflect" on what they have done to cause the consequence. For adults, this means to remove you from the en...

https://youtu.be/S73bIrfb994 Let me talk. Let me speak. Let me say what's on my mind... So many times, we hold things in for years and it eats away at our very souls, affecting every part of our lives ... I can personally say that I'm aware that my past has not only affected my self image but every relationship that I have attempted to form... Speak. Let it out... Let go of the negativity that seeks to keep you bound. Be free... Your passionately driven ChristalNicole ...

Let's talk a little about love today... Or, rather, the loss of love... So often I find myself in conversations and/or counseling someone who is struggling with the emotional distress following the dissolution of an intimate relationship. It is understood that a person can feel deep loss, when a friendship is severed, but this particular blog entry will be focused specifically on the ending of a more intimate relationship such as marriage or a boyfriend/girlfriend-type relationship/situation.... You know, the type that feels like the literal severance of the heart from the body... That loss... A broken heart can sometimes feel like you're dying on the inside, an endless feeling of emptiness and a pit in the bottom of your soul (yeah, I might be familiar). Truth is, you really could actually be suffering from takotsubo cariomyopathy , also known as the broken heart syndrome . Yes, I'm totally serious. A characteristic of this condition is chest pain and shortness of b...

"Today is going to be a good day..." "I will complete all of my tasks on today..." "No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper......... Isaiah 54:17" Some of us are in the habit already of "talking to ourselves" when we have a big day or a big event happening in our lives. We are nervous or excited and need some immediate encouragement. Oftentimes, these are the only times that we recognize our need for this positiveness. So, let's BREAK that incessant state of neglect (yes, I said neglect). Feed your mind, body and spirit with that regular dose of positive that it so desperately needs and yearns. I am a big advocate of Positive Self-Talk, because of the power we have within our tongue/mind. We have within us, the power not only to hurt, uplift and encourage others with the words that we speak, but to do the same for ourselves. I began giving my clients this handout in practically every class and/or individual session ...

A SMILE A FROWN                               VS How many times have you been walking down a hallway or into a store, and someone told you to "Smile, it'll make you feel better" (or something like that)? Were you in "one of those moods"? Did you scowl harder, thinking "why doesn't that person mind her/his own business"? Surprisingly enough, whomever that may have been that attempted to encourage you was also looking out for your health! Smiling has been proven to be beneficial to our health in a number of ways. Some of the benefits include:           Lower blood pressure Relief of Stress, by the release of endorphins that cause us to be happier A stronger Immune System Aaaaaand, better relationships, which is definitely better for our health than negative ones A little research to back up all of this knowledge that I'm dishing: ...

Wow, I can't believe that it's been 3 years, since my last post... I've had a whirlwind of things to happen in my life, and I'm finally coming to a place of self-discovery and understanding. It has been, during this time, that I have become more self-evaluative and a major revelation has occurred... It's okay to cry! Yes, as simple as it may sound, I too had difficulty with this human expression of emotion. Although I am still not comfortable with crying in front of other people, I have learned a few wonderful things personally about crying: 1. It is therapeutic 2. It is liberating 3. It relieves stress 4. It clears your mind 5. It's natural... and doesn't make you any less of a "strong" individual....... If you don't believe me, then take a look at a little research that has been done about crying. It could definitely blow your mind! From AgingCare.com- Go Ahead, Have a Good Cry: 5 Reasons It's Good for You https://w...