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"Sticks and Stones..."

"... may break my bones... but Words will never hurt me..."


... but we knew even then as children that Words can/do, indeed hurt...
When was the last time you stood in your shower until your fingers were wrinkled, or in some other quiet place away from others, and cried or beat yourself up for allowing the cruel, stupid, negative opinions of others affect you? It's okay to admit it. I'll go first. The last time I did it was a few days ago. 
There is no weakness in recognizing an error of judgment. It's called self-evaluation and growth. We cannot be or do better without it. How do we grow from it? We take steps to distance/eliminate the negativity. Again, you say "how Christal?" Do I walk away and never speak to that person again? Sometimes, it's necessary. You have to determine how important the relationship/connection is to you (ie. Is this person an incessant negative factor in your life? Is this person a close friend/family member?) Sometimes, total…
Recent posts

Say "No" and Mean it. No More Back and Forth!

NOTE TO SELF:



My 20 year old son has a strength that I am still trying to find at almost 42... When he says NO, he means NO. When he cuts someone off, that person is CUT OFF. When he is Done, he is DONE... At times, his actions seemed callous to me, because I am that person that doesn't want to hurt others' feelings. I've realized, however, the importance of saying "No", and meaning it.  I've also recognized the reduction of stress (less frustration, feelings of resentment, negative energy in general) that I could have, if I were to decrease "people-pleaser actions". I've linked a great article about People-Pleaser signs, helpful tips on how to stop this type of behavior, and how it affects you. 
If you're not sure that you're a people-pleaser, then here are a few simple questions to ask yourself, when self-evaluating:
1. Do you have a low opinion of yourself? Sometimes our opinion of ourselves is not high enough to be enough. Seeking or ne…

It's Ok to Say "Yes" to You...

Everyday, you go to work, whether it's at home or a long commute. You take care of your business. You take care of your family, from your parents, siblings, children and/or grandchildren. Everyone seems to get your attention, except you...
Your body aches, from hours of working, tension from stress, and you can't think of the last time you had a peaceful night of rest. Your mind is constantly filled with a list of tasks, none of which include a moment for you. You're tired, but someone else has asked you to assist with a project, and/or you need to meal prep for the week for your family. You only go to the doctor, when you're making an appointment for someone else, once you've finished being both nurse and doctor to your loved ones.
STOP!!! You can't go on like this!


It's time to take care of yourself too. Why? Well, let's see: Decrease stress, which will also lead to,A healthier life/lifestyle (physical and mental)A sense of life fulfillment, includingMore…

Chilled to the Bone, but not the Heart...

The cold weather is officially here, and I find myself ready to bundle up and cuddle...
Funny thing is that I'm thankful for the ability and desire to be a loving person. Yes, I said "thankful", and yes, I said "ability". Truth be told, there was a time that I wasn't sure that I wanted to be that "loving" person. I didn't want to keep having my love taken for granted or used against me as a tool of manipulation. I didn't want to be hurt again (because that seemed to be all that my loving character brought), by anyone in any relationship, no matter what the dynamic of that relationship may be. I thought that maybe if I could just be a cold-hearted person, and keep my affections exclusively for my children and immediate family, then I could avoid being hurt by others... Ever been there? Still there?
Well, let's walk together through why it isn't healthy for you to allow your heart to freeze over: Stifling emotions can actually cause you…

Set Yourself Free...

She's wild and crazy, some may say...
How can she allow herself to be out in public like that, others may think...

Once upon a time, I would care so much about what people say or think that I would have difficulty with just being myself. I would change my hair, the way that I dressed or even the way that I acted, just to please others. I was bound. I was bound by the fear of not pleasing others or meeting their standards. Is this you?

What binds you?

Self-doubt/self-pity?Inability to let go of the past?Fear of not pleasing others?Insecurities?...
It's time to let it go. Be liberated!
You will never be able to grow and evolve into your true self, as long as you are focusing on your flaws versus your strengths, your past rather than your present and future, and/or whether or not your life (keyword: YOUR) is lining up to be what others want it to be. Having a "people-pleaser" mindset will always set you on a path of illogical thinking and an ever-changing bar of accepta…

Uncovering Beauty Unseen...

What do you see? Do you notice the dark clouds first or the light coming from behind the clouds? 
There are times in our lives that all seems to be dark. Everything seems to be going the wrong way, and there seems to be little hope in sight. These are the moments that we have to remain strong and focus on the light at the end of tunnel. No matter how low you may be or how dark the situation may seem, you have to remember that just like the rain clouds, it will pass away. 
In life, beauty presents itself in the smallest ways, and if we are not focused on living and striving for elevation, evolution and positive growth in ourselves and our lives, then we can miss it...


Going through life with a negative self-esteem and self-image, I used to only be focused on my flaws. I could never see my own positive characteristics and refused to believe compliments of beauty, until I began to take my own advice of using positive self-talk, positive reframing and thought-stopping. 
Are you the same …

Dear Future Forever Love...

...And I mean exactly that... Forever...

No, this is not a rant. It is not a blog entry to put anyone down or vent about life, love or the lack thereof. I hope and pray that this entry is encouraging to all who read it and that you share with others for encouragement as well.

Often times, when we have experienced love and heartbreak, everyone seems to have ALL of the advice for us:

Don't give upDon't be so hard on yourself (ie, you can't think like that, don't say that, there's nothing wrong with you...)Don't be so hard on future prospectsYour expectations are too highYou overthink things too much (I get That one a whoooole lot, lol)......... Truth is, no one knows your heart, your pain and/or your desires more than you do. "Heartbroken" is subjective. For me, I have honestly just felt Broken. For you, it may not be so deep, but whatever your level of "brokenness", be strong enough to evaluate your needs for yourself and not pattern them acc…