Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Let Me Talk...

https://youtu.be/S73bIrfb994

Let me talk. Let me speak. Let me say what's on my mind...

So many times, we hold things in for years and it eats away at our very souls, affecting every part of our lives...

I can personally say that I'm aware that my past has not only affected my self image but every relationship that I have attempted to form...

Speak. Let it out... Let go of the negativity that seeks to keep you bound. Be free...

Your passionately driven ChristalNicole...

Thursday, October 4, 2018

The Power of Communication...


I am in no way a sketch artist. However, I had this vision of communication being the roots of a relationship, sprouting branches of longevity, commitment, loyalty, love, trust, etc.....

So let's discuss this "thing" called communication. It is an idea, a concept, a living entity, necessary/mandatory for any type of relationship to begin, be sustained and/or end. It is birthed and either nurtured or abandoned, causing it to become either positive or negative.


There are three types of communication:

  1. Verbal (Talk to/with me. Tell me what's on your mind. Don't just talk "at" me)
  2. Nonverbal (I see how you look at me or fold your arms in a negative manner or how you hold/kiss me to express your love...)
  3. Written (Text. Write a note, etc)
I am so literal, and I love the definition that I found for the meaning of communication. The verbiage "exchanging of" and "means of connection" are almost poetic to my brain. Communication is the key to reviving a broken friendship/marriage or the stake driven into the heart of an already dying relationship.


Understanding the importance of communication is the first step. Understanding "how" to communicate is the next step...

But how? I know you're asking (and I've been trying to help you out with that already, but here's a little more...)
  1. Be transparent/honest
  2. Be willing to share yourself, your experiences, as you expect the other person to do
  3. Don't talk AT a person. Talking at a person means that you are not allowing that person to speak, and what have we learned today? Communication is an "exchange". It is "sharing".
  4. While communicating, listen and pay attention, so that you can learn the other person. This will help you to learn a person's temperament, what that person likes/dislikes, etc....
Okay, I have given you some pretty deep and precious golden communication nuggets. If you still need more, then you may just need to come see me for a life skills session. I'm easy to find...

Until we meet or the next time I share, I leave you your always passionately driven ChristalNicole...



Friday, September 28, 2018

How can I make you smile today?



How can I make you smile today
Everyday, I want to hear you say
Can I be the one that dries your tears
The one who calms your fears
Tell me, will you let me
Love you, ever so gently
Unrelenting, contently
With a newness so surreal
A reality causing your heart to heal...

I have a tendency to write poetry in a romantic/passionate tone. However, this little short poem, though it is applicable romantically, is a poem about self love (now read it again). 


Now, how can I make YOU smile? Have I already accomplished my goal? Has it ever occurred to you, the fulfilling nature of just bringing a little joy to another person's day? Seriously, random acts of kindness and care are literally healthy for you.

Think about it. It feels so great, when someone thinks about you, cares about you and shows you love. It also feels rejuvenating and liberating to get a good laugh out of your belly, am I right? Well, now think about what it feels like to see someone smile, because of your unsolicited kindness and maybe even humor. 

Studies show that kindness not only improves relationships and calms down negative situations, it is good for the heart and slows down aging by releasing oxytocin and decreasing inflammation (yes, really!)! 

Hmmmm.... Be Kind and Loving-Reduce Inflammation and Look Younger
Vs.
Be Mean and Hateful-Look All Bloated and Like an Aging Witch... (IJS)
I think I'll take Kindness and Love

Who have you made smile today? A person or two? Well, go make somebody Else smile! No one? Well, then go get on it!

Smiling, as I think about your smiling faces and the smiles you will spread. I leave you, until next time, your passionately driven ChristalNicole...

Friday, September 14, 2018

Acknowledging the Power of Forgiveness...


I am incessantly on a journey for enhanced peace, fulfillment and love of self. This entry is going to be sort of two-fold, in that I'll be writing about letting go of the past and forgiveness...

Many of us have a wall that has been built to protect us from others, due to whatever experiences and persons we have encountered in our lives. However, where we are willing to admit to the wall, we are not always willing to acknowledge the row of locked doors behind that wall which block us from the peace that we seek...


First of all, we all have a past of some sort (at least, that's what people always tell me, lol). Possibly, you may have done things in your past that you are not so proud of or had things done to you that you cannot seem to let go of. Regardless of what that past looks like, it is just that- the past. So, let's look at it. What are the reasons that you are still holding on to it?
  1. Unable to forgive myself
  2. Unable to forgive someone else
  3. Afraid of judgment from others
It's so often said that you have to forgive others, in order to move on with your life, but just as often, the importance of your forgiving yourself is forgotten. Just as my journey in self-love has been a long one, part of that journey has also been understanding and acknowledging the necessity for me to actually forgive myself for things that I deemed unforgivable and to understand that I canNOT worry or focus on what others' opinions/judgments/views on me or my life are. Lastly, what positiveness is gained by holding hatred, hurt and pain in your heart toward another?

  1. ............................
  2. .......................
  3. still waiting.................just forgive already, and free yourself!

Above, you see a lady who is learning everyday about the joys of letting go and the freedom that comes with forgiveness. Liberation is beautiful, and that beauty is a beacon for positiveness, attracting the energy that enhances the ability to evolve and flourish. Each minute, hour, and day is gone, never to be retrieved again, except through our own memory banks. The time spent in negativity is wasted.... Live, don't just breath....

Until next time, I leave you your always passionately driven ChristalNicole...



Friday, August 17, 2018

Heart Be Unbroken...


Let's talk a little about love today... Or, rather, the loss of love...

So often I find myself in conversations and/or counseling someone who is struggling with the emotional distress following the dissolution of an intimate relationship. It is understood that a person can feel deep loss, when a friendship is severed, but this particular blog entry will be focused specifically on the ending of a more intimate relationship such as marriage or a boyfriend/girlfriend-type relationship/situation.... You know, the type that feels like the literal severance of the heart from the body... That loss...

A broken heart can sometimes feel like you're dying on the inside, an endless feeling of emptiness and a pit in the bottom of your soul (yeah, I might be familiar). Truth is, you really could actually be suffering from takotsubo cariomyopathy, also known as the broken heart syndrome. Yes, I'm totally serious. A characteristic of this condition is chest pain and shortness of breath, following severe stress (either emotional or physical). This heart condition  can feel similar to a heart attack, is almost exclusive to women, and is generally temporary. I have linked some more detailed information about the condition in the text, so don't forget to take a moment to check them out.


Healing is similar to that of someone who is dealing with grief and the death of a loved one. In essence, it very parallel to the death of something inside. However, just as a broken heart can medically be treated, it can also be soothed emotionally.

You may find yourself going through the classic stages of grief:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression, and finally
  5. Acceptance 

Some tips for coping with your whirlpool/tornado of emotions include:

  1. Seeking out caring people (avoid the cynical, bitter & negative, especially the friend that just wants to go beat someone up for breaking your heart)
  2. Be mindful of your physical health (declining health will contribute to chemical releases within the body that contribute to depressive symptoms) #revengebody #butdoitforyourself
  3. Remember that life is for living, and no person should have the power to take that from you
  4. Seek outside help, if necessary (there's no shame in seeing a counselor/therapist, to assist you with dealing with your hurt)...
Love is one of the deepest emotions/most powerful emotions that one can feel. Some may argue that Hate is just as powerful, but it is proven that love can even conquer a cold/hateful heart... So powerful... On that note, remember to love, accept love, because it's okay, and it feels great... 

Lovingly yours, your passionately driven ChristalNicole...




Friday, August 3, 2018

Reflecting to Reflect...



The dictionary defines a reflection as "the throwing back by a body or surface of light, heat, or sound without absorbing it...." or a "serious thought or consideration"......

I have a tendency to be a "deep" thinker (hard to believe, I know) and sometimes even over-analytical (another shocker, right?). Anyway, while conversing with someone earlier this week, we began to discuss my goals and aspirations for my image consulting business. I elaborated on the details of what a complete "image" is.

By definition (Ms. Literal here), an image is "a representation of the external form of a person or thing..." I believe that the image is formed not only by what we dress the external in but what exudes from the inside.

While discussing this, I began to "reflect" on my purpose and how my actions are not just a reflection of me but also the principles, morals and standards which I claim to represent.


Ever wondered "What Reflection Of ME, Do Others See?"

Do they see the loving, kind, and generous positive aspects of what I believe in and strive to represent or does the serious, broken, and guarded wall still present within me overshadow the light?

Oftentimes, we go about our lives thinking/feeling that we are presenting ourselves in one way, only to find out from others that we are not quite reflecting what we thought. Sometimes, we are more transparent than we think, allowing more of what we were trying to hide to seep through than desired. Other times, we are so guarded that the bright light we thought was shining is much dimmer than intended.

My goal is to be a walking REFLECTION of a godly woman, exuding positiveness, strength, perseverance, love and triumph. I want this REFLECTION to be so much so that it causes others to REFLECT on the woman that they just spoke with, read about or even passed by.

What are you reflecting? How important is your reflection?

Thank you for taking the time to read my musings. I hope that I have given you something to reflect on (see what I did there?). As always, I leave you your passionately driven ChristalNicole...