Friday, August 17, 2018

Heart Be Unbroken...


Let's talk a little about love today... Or, rather, the loss of love...

So often I find myself in conversations and/or counseling someone who is struggling with the emotional distress following the dissolution of an intimate relationship. It is understood that a person can feel deep loss, when a friendship is severed, but this particular blog entry will be focused specifically on the ending of a more intimate relationship such as marriage or a boyfriend/girlfriend-type relationship/situation.... You know, the type that feels like the literal severance of the heart from the body... That loss...

A broken heart can sometimes feel like you're dying on the inside, an endless feeling of emptiness and a pit in the bottom of your soul (yeah, I might be familiar). Truth is, you really could actually be suffering from takotsubo cariomyopathy, also known as the broken heart syndrome. Yes, I'm totally serious. A characteristic of this condition is chest pain and shortness of breath, following severe stress (either emotional or physical). This heart condition  can feel similar to a heart attack, is almost exclusive to women, and is generally temporary. I have linked some more detailed information about the condition in the text, so don't forget to take a moment to check them out.


Healing is similar to that of someone who is dealing with grief and the death of a loved one. In essence, it very parallel to the death of something inside. However, just as a broken heart can medically be treated, it can also be soothed emotionally.

You may find yourself going through the classic stages of grief:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression, and finally
  5. Acceptance 

Some tips for coping with your whirlpool/tornado of emotions include:

  1. Seeking out caring people (avoid the cynical, bitter & negative, especially the friend that just wants to go beat someone up for breaking your heart)
  2. Be mindful of your physical health (declining health will contribute to chemical releases within the body that contribute to depressive symptoms) #revengebody #butdoitforyourself
  3. Remember that life is for living, and no person should have the power to take that from you
  4. Seek outside help, if necessary (there's no shame in seeing a counselor/therapist, to assist you with dealing with your hurt)...
Love is one of the deepest emotions/most powerful emotions that one can feel. Some may argue that Hate is just as powerful, but it is proven that love can even conquer a cold/hateful heart... So powerful... On that note, remember to love, accept love, because it's okay, and it feels great... 

Lovingly yours, your passionately driven ChristalNicole...




Friday, August 3, 2018

Reflecting to Reflect...



The dictionary defines a reflection as "the throwing back by a body or surface of light, heat, or sound without absorbing it...." or a "serious thought or consideration"......

I have a tendency to be a "deep" thinker (hard to believe, I know) and sometimes even over-analytical (another shocker, right?). Anyway, while conversing with someone earlier this week, we began to discuss my goals and aspirations for my image consulting business. I elaborated on the details of what a complete "image" is.

By definition (Ms. Literal here), an image is "a representation of the external form of a person or thing..." I believe that the image is formed not only by what we dress the external in but what exudes from the inside.

While discussing this, I began to "reflect" on my purpose and how my actions are not just a reflection of me but also the principles, morals and standards which I claim to represent.


Ever wondered "What Reflection Of ME, Do Others See?"

Do they see the loving, kind, and generous positive aspects of what I believe in and strive to represent or does the serious, broken, and guarded wall still present within me overshadow the light?

Oftentimes, we go about our lives thinking/feeling that we are presenting ourselves in one way, only to find out from others that we are not quite reflecting what we thought. Sometimes, we are more transparent than we think, allowing more of what we were trying to hide to seep through than desired. Other times, we are so guarded that the bright light we thought was shining is much dimmer than intended.

My goal is to be a walking REFLECTION of a godly woman, exuding positiveness, strength, perseverance, love and triumph. I want this REFLECTION to be so much so that it causes others to REFLECT on the woman that they just spoke with, read about or even passed by.

What are you reflecting? How important is your reflection?

Thank you for taking the time to read my musings. I hope that I have given you something to reflect on (see what I did there?). As always, I leave you your passionately driven ChristalNicole...

Friday, July 27, 2018

Keep Pushing... Regardless


Perseverance is so often used more as an adjective, to describe a person's action. However, it is actually a Noun.... Stay with me. There's a method to this mad English lesson...

Reading it's meaning again, and thinking to myself that this word has been my word of the year (maybe even the past few years), I realized that it truly isn't a description of myself. It is, rather, a state of being. Despite adversities, the natural struggles of life, self-convictions, and continuous obstacles, as I persevere, I am strengthened.

My mind, spirit and heart ARE in a state of perseverance, and in those moments when I feel like giving up, I am recognizably not myself.... WE are all recognizably different, when we lose our drive and begin to lean more toward Giving up the Dream or Leaving It All Behind...

So many times, I'm sure you've heard someone tell you "Don't Give Up", "You Got This", "You're Not a Quitter" or  "Only Losers Quit". Well, let me take a moment to drop a little wisdom on you. As small or insignificant as it may seem for you to "quit" or "give up", each little action of "non-action" (yeah, I think I just kind of made that up) contributes to your life path and state of mind. In reality, you set yourself up for an incessant patterns of negativity and "non-actions".

Of course you believe every word that I write and don't necessarily need additional resources, buuuuut here's a great article from Psychology Today: The NeuroScience of Perseverance.




So, I'm that lady at work who sends the positive quotes and attempts to be an encouraging voice. I can't help it. It's just me...

Well, I was a little "off" this week. I had difficulty finding that positiveness, even after posting on that subject specifically last week! Wow, it happens so quickly... And it was noticed... Thank you

While I don't need for you to tell anyone else or broadcast it to the world. Thank you for reminding me that there is a purpose to all that I do, and that there really is someone listening...

I hope that your day is truly beautifully blessed. Until next time, I am always your passionately driven ChristalNicole...

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

I Will...I Can...I Am...


"Today is going to be a good day..."
"I will complete all of my tasks on today..."
"No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper......... Isaiah 54:17"

Some of us are in the habit already of "talking to ourselves" when we have a big day or a big event happening in our lives. We are nervous or excited and need some immediate encouragement. Oftentimes, these are the only times that we recognize our need for this positiveness.

So, let's BREAK that incessant state of neglect (yes, I said neglect). Feed your mind, body and spirit with that regular dose of positive that it so desperately needs and yearns.

I am a big advocate of Positive Self-Talk, because of the power we have within our tongue/mind. We have within us, the power not only to hurt, uplift and encourage others with the words that we speak, but to do the same for ourselves.
I began giving my clients this handout in practically every class and/or individual session that I teach. I tell them to place this somewhere that they can see it regularly, and recite it to themselves with a positive word at the end...

Today, I say: I WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I AM MAKING A DIFFERENCE....


I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD. I CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD. I AM TAKING OVER THE WOOOOOORLD.... Shhhhhh.... That's my "secret" positive self-talk ;)

As always, I end this entry your passionately driven ChristalNicole

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Smile! It Really Is Good For You...

A SMILE
A FROWN




















                              VS



How many times have you been walking down a hallway or into a store, and someone told you to "Smile, it'll make you feel better" (or something like that)? Were you in "one of those moods"? Did you scowl harder, thinking "why doesn't that person mind her/his own business"?

Surprisingly enough, whomever that may have been that attempted to encourage you was also looking out for your health! Smiling has been proven to be beneficial to our health in a number of ways. Some of the benefits include:

         












  1. Lower blood pressure
  2. Relief of Stress, by the release of endorphins that cause us to be happier
  3. A stronger Immune System
  4. Aaaaaand, better relationships, which is definitely better for our health than negative ones

A little research to back up all of this knowledge that I'm dishing:

From Psychology Today "Try Some Smile Therapy" -
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/isnt-what-i-expected/201208/try-some-smile-therapy

From Benefits Bridge "The Top 7 Health Benefits of Smiling" -
https://benefitsbridge.unitedconcordia.com/top-7-health-benefits-smiling/


Transparency moment: I am that person that gets caught up in my thoughts and generally is told to smile by strangers. I have even had a negative thought to go through my head, when I was told, buuuuut now, instead of negativity, I ask myself a few questions... 

Why not smile? What do you feel, when you smile? Even when things are bad, and you don't really feel like, try it! I'm forced to think of something joyful, in order to do so, which automatically brings me to a "happy place". Also, when you smile and have joy, it causes those around you to reflect that same positive energy. Pay attention to how many smiles you get returned, when you smile. It's pretty awesome!

Smiling, as I end this entry, I leave always your passionately driven ChristalNicole...

Friday, July 6, 2018

Cry, Baby, Cry...




Wow, I can't believe that it's been 3 years, since my last post...

I've had a whirlwind of things to happen in my life, and I'm finally coming to a place of self-discovery and understanding. It has been, during this time, that I have become more self-evaluative and a major revelation has occurred...

It's okay to cry! Yes, as simple as it may sound, I too had difficulty with this human expression of emotion. Although I am still not comfortable with crying in front of other people, I have learned a few wonderful things personally about crying:

1. It is therapeutic
2. It is liberating
3. It relieves stress
4. It clears your mind
5. It's natural... and doesn't make you any less of a "strong" individual.......

If you don't believe me, then take a look at a little research that has been done about crying. It could definitely blow your mind!

From AgingCare.com- Go Ahead, Have a Good Cry: 5 Reasons It's Good for You
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/reasons-why-crying-is-good-for-your-health-146022.htm

From LifeHack.org- 9 Surprising Benefits of Crying, or Why It's Okay to Have a Good Cry
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/9-surprising-benefits-crying-why-its-okay-have-good-cry.html

So... Cry, Baby, Cry... Throw away any thoughts of weakness and allow yourself to release the pain, joy or happiness that may be locked within. It's a beautiful thing, and so are you!

Until next time, I am your passionately driven ChristalNicole...