Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Don't Be Afraid to Let Go...

ChristalNicole | image consultant, McKinney, TX

Whether it's a person, situation or emotional attachment to something, many of us have a difficult time with letting things go and moving on with our lives...

Yes, I'm talking about myself as well. I'm guilty (first step is to admit it, right?), or at least, I have been: 

If a person stopped communicating or decided to leave my life, I would try to figure out why and inwardly be broken, even if I didn't show it.... If I went through something traumatic, then I would allow it to effect my future (sound familiar?)... 

But then there was this thing called self-evaluation and this other thing called an epiphany!

Suddenly, after all the years of doing something so unhealthy, I became (and continue to become) this person that no longer wanted to allow people or circumstances to determine my life, health or overall emotional state...

let go

But Christal, I've tried to let go, and I just can't seem to... 

Well, Ok dahling, this is why I am writing this little piece today. Psychology Today and  PsychCentral have pretty great articles with a few suggestions that I'm including in my list, but I have a few suggestions of my own:
  1. Recognize that you're holding on to that infectious thing (just be "real" with yourself)
  2. Make a conscious and definitive decision to let go 
  3. If it is a person, then recognize that you are giving that person power over you that he/she probably doesn't even realize has been given (especially due to the fact that the other person has usually moved on and isn't giving you or the situation a second thought)
  4. Recognize your worth and the value of your time (while you are wasting time crying, pondering, being bitter, hating, chasing, etc. etc. etc., you could be taking over the world baby!)
  5. Talk to someone about what you're feeling (wise friend, counselor, clergy, ChristalNicole ;) )
I know. Right now, you're probably singing 

Are you ready? You can do it. Let it go! 
Until next time, I leave you your passionately driven ChristalNicole...

Friday, November 2, 2018

Your Most Important Audience is You...

ChristalNicole image consultant in DFW, TX

"I want to be a great role model for my daughter/son."
"I want people to see the good in me."
"I just want to make my parents proud.".....................

All wonderful statements and positive goals to reach for. However, I want to put a little bug in your ear that may just also bring you a moment (hopefully a lifetime) of enlightenment by asking you this question:

"What do you SEE, when you look into the mirror?"

A simple enough question, if you refuse to come with me to this deep place that I'm attempting to guide you to... Allow me to take your virtual hand and guide you a moment into self-exploration:
  • Who is this woman/man that you see staring back at you?
  • Do you make yourself proud?
  • Are you happy with the morals/ideals/decisions that you express/make?
  • Do YOU see the good in you?
  • Are there things that you are ashamed of and refuse to forgive yourself for?
  • Do you accept who you are completely?
 ornate mirror
It's one thing, if you have the ability to look yourself in the mirror, and acknowledge how handsome/beautiful you may think that you are. It's another to take an honest look inside your own soul, face your demons and work toward loving the person that you see reflected. 

Let's look back at the statements that I made in the beginning of this entry. In essence, if you are able to do such a brave, honest and pure thing as true self-evaluation, then you will automatically be able to be the reflection of positiveness that others will see. A truly happy person exudes happiness, just as a truly loving person exudes love.

Your most important audience is you. Be able to applaud yourself and others will applaud. Ready to join the applause, I leave you as always your passionately driven ChristalNicole... 

Friday, October 26, 2018

Put Yourself In Time Out...

There's just something about koi ponds that makes me feel relaxed and have a sense of peace. Places such as this provide me with a nice little break from stressors and quiet time to calm the storm that is incessantly present in my brain... A Time Out

According to Wikipedia, "Time-out is a form of behavioral modification that involves temporarily separating a person from an environment where unacceptable behavior has occurred." As adults, we get moody (ie, grumpy, snippy, attitudinal...), stressed, overwhelmed, etc. These are behaviors that are generally Un-Acceptable for/to the persons around you, especially the ones closest to you.

So, today, I am going to play the virtual Mother and "sentence" you to a Time Out, Mister/Ma'am...

For children, this means removing them from a pleasurable activity or environment, to give them time to "reflect" on what they have done to cause the consequence. For adults, this means to remove you from the environment/people/area that is causing your negative vibes.

Anyone who has read some of my blog material, and/or follows me on social media, knows how much I love the beach for its peace and tranquility. However, what I've discovered is that I don't need to and shouldn't wait for months at a time to take a long, and sometimes expensive, trip in order to take a time out. There are so many other ways to get that little necessary break. I have a few pointers/ideas for your Time Out sentence:
  1. Determine what brings YOU happiness/joy/peace, as this is different for different people. For me, I need/enjoy:
    1. a quiet place
    2. alone time
    3. nature
    4. beautiful scenery
  2. Block your calendar for the weekend
    1. don't allow anything/anyone to book up your schedule for you (something that I have a difficult time with myself)
    2. unless it's an emergency, don't convince yourself that you Need to do something else besides taking this Time For Yourself (synonymous with Time Out)
  3. Visit a hot spot in town in town (if you truly don't have a whole weekend to spare or you direly just need to "step outside of your world" for a moment)
  4. Take a weekend trip to someplace new
  5. Take a Time Out no less than once a month
 50 coolest neighborhoods in the world

As much as my heart desires to travel the world (and I will), I've had to come to the realization that I need more than the sporadic beach/ocean view. After one of my regular self-evaluation sessions, I have determined that my behavior (self doubt, negative thoughts, etc) is absolutely unacceptable, so I'm going to put myself in Time Out (soon)... And you should too...

Planning for my Time Out and feeling positive, I leave your always passionately driven ChristalNicole...

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Let Me Talk...

Let me talk. Let me speak. Let me say what's on my mind...

So many times, we hold things in for years and it eats away at our very souls, affecting every part of our lives...

I can personally say that I'm aware that my past has not only affected my self image but every relationship that I have attempted to form...

Speak. Let it out... Let go of the negativity that seeks to keep you bound. Be free...

Your passionately driven ChristalNicole...

Thursday, October 4, 2018

The Power of Communication...

I am in no way a sketch artist. However, I had this vision of communication being the roots of a relationship, sprouting branches of longevity, commitment, loyalty, love, trust, etc.....

So let's discuss this "thing" called communication. It is an idea, a concept, a living entity, necessary/mandatory for any type of relationship to begin, be sustained and/or end. It is birthed and either nurtured or abandoned, causing it to become either positive or negative.

There are three types of communication:

  1. Verbal (Talk to/with me. Tell me what's on your mind. Don't just talk "at" me)
  2. Nonverbal (I see how you look at me or fold your arms in a negative manner or how you hold/kiss me to express your love...)
  3. Written (Text. Write a note, etc)
I am so literal, and I love the definition that I found for the meaning of communication. The verbiage "exchanging of" and "means of connection" are almost poetic to my brain. Communication is the key to reviving a broken friendship/marriage or the stake driven into the heart of an already dying relationship.

Understanding the importance of communication is the first step. Understanding "how" to communicate is the next step...

But how? I know you're asking (and I've been trying to help you out with that already, but here's a little more...)
  1. Be transparent/honest
  2. Be willing to share yourself, your experiences, as you expect the other person to do
  3. Don't talk AT a person. Talking at a person means that you are not allowing that person to speak, and what have we learned today? Communication is an "exchange". It is "sharing".
  4. While communicating, listen and pay attention, so that you can learn the other person. This will help you to learn a person's temperament, what that person likes/dislikes, etc....
Okay, I have given you some pretty deep and precious golden communication nuggets. If you still need more, then you may just need to come see me for a life skills session. I'm easy to find...

Until we meet or the next time I share, I leave you your always passionately driven ChristalNicole...

Friday, September 28, 2018

How can I make you smile today?

How can I make you smile today
Everyday, I want to hear you say
Can I be the one that dries your tears
The one who calms your fears
Tell me, will you let me
Love you, ever so gently
Unrelenting, contently
With a newness so surreal
A reality causing your heart to heal...

I have a tendency to write poetry in a romantic/passionate tone. However, this little short poem, though it is applicable romantically, is a poem about self love (now read it again). 

Now, how can I make YOU smile? Have I already accomplished my goal? Has it ever occurred to you, the fulfilling nature of just bringing a little joy to another person's day? Seriously, random acts of kindness and care are literally healthy for you.

Think about it. It feels so great, when someone thinks about you, cares about you and shows you love. It also feels rejuvenating and liberating to get a good laugh out of your belly, am I right? Well, now think about what it feels like to see someone smile, because of your unsolicited kindness and maybe even humor. 

Studies show that kindness not only improves relationships and calms down negative situations, it is good for the heart and slows down aging by releasing oxytocin and decreasing inflammation (yes, really!)! 

Hmmmm.... Be Kind and Loving-Reduce Inflammation and Look Younger
Be Mean and Hateful-Look All Bloated and Like an Aging Witch... (IJS)
I think I'll take Kindness and Love

Who have you made smile today? A person or two? Well, go make somebody Else smile! No one? Well, then go get on it!

Smiling, as I think about your smiling faces and the smiles you will spread. I leave you, until next time, your passionately driven ChristalNicole...

Friday, September 14, 2018

Acknowledging the Power of Forgiveness...

I am incessantly on a journey for enhanced peace, fulfillment and love of self. This entry is going to be sort of two-fold, in that I'll be writing about letting go of the past and forgiveness...

Many of us have a wall that has been built to protect us from others, due to whatever experiences and persons we have encountered in our lives. However, where we are willing to admit to the wall, we are not always willing to acknowledge the row of locked doors behind that wall which block us from the peace that we seek...

First of all, we all have a past of some sort (at least, that's what people always tell me, lol). Possibly, you may have done things in your past that you are not so proud of or had things done to you that you cannot seem to let go of. Regardless of what that past looks like, it is just that- the past. So, let's look at it. What are the reasons that you are still holding on to it?
  1. Unable to forgive myself
  2. Unable to forgive someone else
  3. Afraid of judgment from others
It's so often said that you have to forgive others, in order to move on with your life, but just as often, the importance of your forgiving yourself is forgotten. Just as my journey in self-love has been a long one, part of that journey has also been understanding and acknowledging the necessity for me to actually forgive myself for things that I deemed unforgivable and to understand that I canNOT worry or focus on what others' opinions/judgments/views on me or my life are. Lastly, what positiveness is gained by holding hatred, hurt and pain in your heart toward another?

  1. ............................
  2. .......................
  3. still waiting.................just forgive already, and free yourself!

Above, you see a lady who is learning everyday about the joys of letting go and the freedom that comes with forgiveness. Liberation is beautiful, and that beauty is a beacon for positiveness, attracting the energy that enhances the ability to evolve and flourish. Each minute, hour, and day is gone, never to be retrieved again, except through our own memory banks. The time spent in negativity is wasted.... Live, don't just breath....

Until next time, I leave you your always passionately driven ChristalNicole...