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Showing posts from 2018

Don't Be Afraid to Let Go...

Whether it's a person, situation or emotional attachment to something, many of us have a difficult time with letting things go and moving on with our lives...

Yes, I'm talking about myself as well. I'm guilty (first step is to admit it, right?), or at least, I have been: 


If a person stopped communicating or decided to leave my life, I would try to figure out why and inwardly be broken, even if I didn't show it.... If I went through something traumatic, then I would allow it to effect my future (sound familiar?)...
But then there was this thing called self-evaluation and this other thing called an epiphany!
Suddenly, after all the years of doing something so unhealthy, I became (and continue to become) this person that no longer wanted to allow people or circumstances to determine my life, health or overall emotional state...

But Christal, I've tried to let go, and I just can't seem to... 
Well, Ok dahling, this is why I am writing this little piece today. Psychology…

Your Most Important Audience is You...

"I want to be a great role model for my daughter/son."
"I want people to see the good in me."
"I just want to make my parents proud.".....................

All wonderful statements and positive goals to reach for. However, I want to put a little bug in your ear that may just also bring you a moment (hopefully a lifetime) of enlightenment by asking you this question:

"What do you SEE, when you look into the mirror?"
A simple enough question, if you refuse to come with me to this deep place that I'm attempting to guide you to... Allow me to take your virtual hand and guide you a moment into self-exploration: Who is this woman/man that you see staring back at you?Do you make yourself proud?Are you happy with the morals/ideals/decisions that you express/make?Do YOU see the good in you?Are there things that you are ashamed of and refuse to forgive yourself for?Do you accept who you are completely? It's one thing, if you have the ability to loo…

Put Yourself In Time Out...

There's just something about koi ponds that makes me feel relaxed and have a sense of peace. Places such as this provide me with a nice little break from stressors and quiet time to calm the storm that is incessantly present in my brain... A Time Out

According to Wikipedia, "Time-out is a form of behavioral modification that involves temporarily separating a person from an environment where unacceptable behavior has occurred." As adults, we get moody (ie, grumpy, snippy, attitudinal...), stressed, overwhelmed, etc. These are behaviors that are generally Un-Acceptable for/to the persons around you, especially the ones closest to you.

So, today, I am going to play the virtual Mother and "sentence" you to a Time Out, Mister/Ma'am...

For children, this means removing them from a pleasurable activity or environment, to give them time to "reflect" on what they have done to cause the consequence. For adults, this means to remove you from the environment/p…

Let Me Talk...

https://youtu.be/S73bIrfb994Let me talk. Let me speak. Let me say what's on my mind...So many times, we hold things in for years and it eats away at our very souls, affecting every part of our lives...I can personally say that I'm aware that my past has not only affected my self image but every relationship that I have attempted to form...Speak. Let it out... Let go of the negativity that seeks to keep you bound. Be free...Your passionately driven ChristalNicole...

The Power of Communication...

I am in no way a sketch artist. However, I had this vision of communication being the roots of a relationship, sprouting branches of longevity, commitment, loyalty, love, trust, etc.....

So let's discuss this "thing" called communication. It is an idea, a concept, a living entity, necessary/mandatory for any type of relationship to begin, be sustained and/or end. It is birthed and either nurtured or abandoned, causing it to become either positive or negative.


There are three types of communication:

Verbal (Talk to/with me. Tell me what's on your mind. Don't just talk "at" me)Nonverbal (I see how you look at me or fold your arms in a negative manner or how you hold/kiss me to express your love...)Written (Text. Write a note, etc) I am so literal, and I love the definition that I found for the meaning of communication. The verbiage "exchanging of" and "means of connection" are almost poetic to my brain. Communication is the key to revi…

How can I make you smile today?

How can I make you smile today Everyday, I want to hear you say Can I be the one that dries your tears The one who calms your fears Tell me, will you let me Love you, ever so gently Unrelenting, contently With a newness so surreal A reality causing your heart to heal... -ChristalNicole
I have a tendency to write poetry in a romantic/passionate tone. However, this little short poem, though it is applicable romantically, is a poem about self love (now read it again). 

Now, how can I make YOU smile? Have I already accomplished my goal? Has it ever occurred to you, the fulfilling nature of just bringing a little joy to another person's day? Seriously, random acts of kindness and care are literally healthy for you.
Think about it. It feels so great, when someone thinks about you, cares about you and shows you love. It also feels rejuvenating and liberating to get a good laugh out of your belly, am I right? Well, now think about what it feels like to see someone smile, because of your …

Acknowledging the Power of Forgiveness...

I am incessantly on a journey for enhanced peace, fulfillment and love of self. This entry is going to be sort of two-fold, in that I'll be writing about letting go of the past and forgiveness...

Many of us have a wall that has been built to protect us from others, due to whatever experiences and persons we have encountered in our lives. However, where we are willing to admit to the wall, we are not always willing to acknowledge the row of locked doors behind that wall which block us from the peace that we seek...


First of all, we all have a past of some sort (at least, that's what people always tell me, lol). Possibly, you may have done things in your past that you are not so proud of or had things done to you that you cannot seem to let go of. Regardless of what that past looks like, it is just that- the past. So, let's look at it. What are the reasons that you are still holding on to it? Unable to forgive myselfUnable to forgive someone elseAfraid of judgment from other…

Heart Be Unbroken...

Let's talk a little about love today... Or, rather, the loss of love...

So often I find myself in conversations and/or counseling someone who is struggling with the emotional distress following the dissolution of an intimate relationship. It is understood that a person can feel deep loss, when a friendship is severed, but this particular blog entry will be focused specifically on the ending of a more intimate relationship such as marriage or a boyfriend/girlfriend-type relationship/situation.... You know, the type that feels like the literal severance of the heart from the body... That loss...

A broken heart can sometimes feel like you're dying on the inside, an endless feeling of emptiness and a pit in the bottom of your soul (yeah, I might be familiar). Truth is, you really could actually be suffering from takotsubo cariomyopathy, also known as the broken heart syndrome. Yes, I'm totally serious. A characteristic of this condition is chest pain and shortness of breath, …

Reflecting to Reflect...

The dictionary defines a reflection as "the throwing back by a body or surface of light, heat, or sound without absorbing it...." or a "serious thought or consideration"......

I have a tendency to be a "deep" thinker (hard to believe, I know) and sometimes even over-analytical (another shocker, right?). Anyway, while conversing with someone earlier this week, we began to discuss my goals and aspirations for my image consulting business. I elaborated on the details of what a complete "image" is.

By definition (Ms. Literal here), animage is "a representation of the external form of a person or thing..." I believe that the image is formed not only by what we dress the external in but what exudes from the inside.

While discussing this, I began to "reflect" on my purpose and how my actions are not just a reflection of me but also the principles, morals and standards which I claim to represent.


Ever wondered "What Reflection …

Two Boxes From Shea Moisture! How'd THAT Happen?!

Keep Pushing... Regardless

Perseverance is so often used more as an adjective, to describe a person's action. However, it is actually a Noun.... Stay with me. There's a method to this mad English lesson...

Reading it's meaning again, and thinking to myself that this word has been my word of the year (maybe even the past few years), I realized that it truly isn't a description of myself. It is, rather, a state of being. Despite adversities, the natural struggles of life, self-convictions, and continuous obstacles, as I persevere, I am strengthened.

My mind, spirit and heart ARE in a state of perseverance, and in those moments when I feel like giving up, I am recognizably not myself.... WE are all recognizably different, when we lose our drive and begin to lean more toward Giving up the Dream or Leaving It All Behind...

So many times, I'm sure you've heard someone tell you "Don't Give Up", "You Got This", "You're Not a Quitter" or  "Only Losers Q…

I Will...I Can...I Am...

"Today is going to be a good day..."
"I will complete all of my tasks on today..."
"No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper......... Isaiah 54:17"

Some of us are in the habit already of "talking to ourselves" when we have a big day or a big event happening in our lives. We are nervous or excited and need some immediate encouragement. Oftentimes, these are the only times that we recognize our need for this positiveness.

So, let's BREAK that incessant state of neglect (yes, I said neglect). Feed your mind, body and spirit with that regular dose of positive that it so desperately needs and yearns.

I am a big advocate of Positive Self-Talk, because of the power we have within our tongue/mind. We have within us, the power not only to hurt, uplift and encourage others with the words that we speak, but to do the same for ourselves.
I began giving my clients this handout in practically every class and/or individual session that I teach. I…

Smile! It Really Is Good For You...

VS


How many times have you been walking down a hallway or into a store, and someone told you to "Smile, it'll make you feel better" (or something like that)? Were you in "one of those moods"? Did you scowl harder, thinking "why doesn't that person mind her/his own business"?

Surprisingly enough, whomever that may have been that attempted to encourage you was also looking out for your health! Smiling has been proven to be beneficial to our health in a number of ways. Some of the benefits include:














Lower blood pressureRelief of Stress, by the release of endorphins that cause us to be happierA stronger Immune SystemAaaaaand, better relationships, which is definitely better for our health than negative ones
A little research to back up all of this knowledge that I'm dishing:
From Psychology Today "Try Some Smile Therapy" -
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/isnt-what-i-expected/201208/try-some-smile-therap…

Cry, Baby, Cry...

Wow, I can't believe that it's been 3 years, since my last post...

I've had a whirlwind of things to happen in my life, and I'm finally coming to a place of self-discovery and understanding. It has been, during this time, that I have become more self-evaluative and a major revelation has occurred...

It's okay to cry! Yes, as simple as it may sound, I too had difficulty with this human expression of emotion. Although I am still not comfortable with crying in front of other people, I have learned a few wonderful things personally about crying:

1. It is therapeutic
2. It is liberating
3. It relieves stress
4. It clears your mind
5. It's natural... and doesn't make you any less of a "strong" individual.......

If you don't believe me, then take a look at a little research that has been done about crying. It could definitely blow your mind!

From AgingCare.com- Go Ahead, Have a Good Cry: 5 Reasons It's Good for You
https://www.agingcare.com/artic…