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Showing posts from 2019

Chilled to the Bone, but not the Heart...

The cold weather is officially here, and I find myself ready to bundle up and cuddle...
Funny thing is that I'm thankful for the ability and desire to be a loving person. Yes, I said "thankful", and yes, I said "ability". Truth be told, there was a time that I wasn't sure that I wanted to be that "loving" person. I didn't want to keep having my love taken for granted or used against me as a tool of manipulation. I didn't want to be hurt again (because that seemed to be all that my loving character brought), by anyone in any relationship, no matter what the dynamic of that relationship may be. I thought that maybe if I could just be a cold-hearted person, and keep my affections exclusively for my children and immediate family, then I could avoid being hurt by others... Ever been there? Still there?
Well, let's walk together through why it isn't healthy for you to allow your heart to freeze over: Stifling emotions can actually cause you…

Set Yourself Free...

She's wild and crazy, some may say...
How can she allow herself to be out in public like that, others may think...

Once upon a time, I would care so much about what people say or think that I would have difficulty with just being myself. I would change my hair, the way that I dressed or even the way that I acted, just to please others. I was bound. I was bound by the fear of not pleasing others or meeting their standards. Is this you?

What binds you?

Self-doubt/self-pity?Inability to let go of the past?Fear of not pleasing others?Insecurities?...
It's time to let it go. Be liberated!
You will never be able to grow and evolve into your true self, as long as you are focusing on your flaws versus your strengths, your past rather than your present and future, and/or whether or not your life (keyword: YOUR) is lining up to be what others want it to be. Having a "people-pleaser" mindset will always set you on a path of illogical thinking and an ever-changing bar of accepta…

Uncovering Beauty Unseen...

What do you see? Do you notice the dark clouds first or the light coming from behind the clouds? 
There are times in our lives that all seems to be dark. Everything seems to be going the wrong way, and there seems to be little hope in sight. These are the moments that we have to remain strong and focus on the light at the end of tunnel. No matter how low you may be or how dark the situation may seem, you have to remember that just like the rain clouds, it will pass away. 
In life, beauty presents itself in the smallest ways, and if we are not focused on living and striving for elevation, evolution and positive growth in ourselves and our lives, then we can miss it...


Going through life with a negative self-esteem and self-image, I used to only be focused on my flaws. I could never see my own positive characteristics and refused to believe compliments of beauty, until I began to take my own advice of using positive self-talk, positive reframing and thought-stopping. 
Are you the same …

Dear Future Forever Love...

...And I mean exactly that... Forever...

No, this is not a rant. It is not a blog entry to put anyone down or vent about life, love or the lack thereof. I hope and pray that this entry is encouraging to all who read it and that you share with others for encouragement as well.

Often times, when we have experienced love and heartbreak, everyone seems to have ALL of the advice for us:

Don't give upDon't be so hard on yourself (ie, you can't think like that, don't say that, there's nothing wrong with you...)Don't be so hard on future prospectsYour expectations are too highYou overthink things too much (I get That one a whoooole lot, lol)......... Truth is, no one knows your heart, your pain and/or your desires more than you do. "Heartbroken" is subjective. For me, I have honestly just felt Broken. For you, it may not be so deep, but whatever your level of "brokenness", be strong enough to evaluate your needs for yourself and not pattern them acc…

The Skin You're In... Loving You First

Seeking love or companionship, when you haven't learned to love yourself, conquered your own insecurities and embraced your flaws is a dangerous position to put yourself in....

I have this conversation with both women and men quite frequently, actually. The conversation of understanding your decision-making and the power of emotions, self-concept and self-image.

If you've ever read any of my other entries, then you know that I'm all about being transparent and honest with yourself. So, let's be honest. Are you someone who feels that you can't be single? Do you feel like you HAVE to have a man or woman in your life, in order to be happy? Have you made decisions to be with someone, because of those thoughts?.... How did that work out?...




The first step is to love you, who you are and the skin that you are in. I'm sure you've heard people say "How can you expect someone to love you, if you don't love yourself?" While this is true, it is deeper t…

When Will Someone Accept Me for Me?... Learning to Accept Yourself...

When will someone accept me for me?... Said the girl who couldn't accept herself...

So often we put the pressure on others to give us validation or to "accept us", when all along the "problem" isn't with others but from within our own person. I know that some won't even read this entry in its entirety, because they don't think that they have an issue with self-acceptance. Well, let me ask you a few questions (not a complete assessment, buuuut):

 How many times have you criticized yourself about the smallest thing, and didn't feel good about yourself until someone else came along and gave you positive feedback about the same thing you put yourself down for?How often do you find fault in the way that you look, and no matter what others say, you still see that fault?How easily do you change your behavior, in order to "fit in" with others around you, because you deem it necessary?
Truth is...  You'll never be good enough, pretty/handso…

Take Care of Yourself: You Matter Too...

I know that it's been awhile, since my last post. My apologies to my awesome readers.
I'd like to say that I've been taking some much needed R&R, but unfortunately, it's been the total opposite. I've been super busy! Hence, this blog entry, reminder to not only you but also to MYself...

Work is a grand thing that allows us to pay the bills. "Hustle-mode" is a common phrase, used frequently as motivational and admirable. Being a parent or caretaker of some sort can be a very demanding responsibility...

While there is nothing wrong with either of these states of being, none should saturate your life so intensely that you neglect your health and overall physical/mental well-being.


Am I asking you to give up your job, your hustle and/or your positions of responsibility? Never! I'm all about that "Perseverant Life", but I guarantee that you and those you love will appreciate a less stressed/healthier you...

So, let's talk about a few way…